- Lady Gaga is trending worldwide. Shes reportedly about to announce a new album and tour plans.
- Gagas over-caffeinated fan base of little monsters swarmed Twitter. Theyre bringing the frenetic energy of crazed K-Pop stans.
- But it sounds like her new music will be as bland and unoriginal as ever. Which is why her album sales have been dropping for a decade.
Lady Gaga is trending worldwide as fans go wild in anticipation of her new album. What a bunch of posers. If they actually bought her music as hard as they tweet, her album sales wouldnt have crashed with every new release since her debut, The Fame.
We all know Lady Gaga got famous by cribbing Madonnas music and brand. (Born This Way was a shameless ripoff of Express Yourself.)
But Stefani hasnt been so successful at copying the part where Madonna was actually relevant for two decades. She hasnt even managed to stay relevant for one.
(I guess Picasso did say, Good artists copy; great artists steal. But then again, he was just as faux-weird and pseudo-intellectual as Lady Gaga.)
If Only Lady Gaga Could Copy Madonnas Success
Madonnas album sales skyrocketed for two releases after her first album in 1983. And more than 20 years after her debut, Madonna sold as many copies of Confessions on a Dance Floor (2005) as all four of Gagas releases since The Fame combined.
Lady Gagas first album was aptly named. Because its the most famous she would ever be. She sold 15 million copies worldwide. Three years later, Born This Way dropped to 6 million in sales. Then Artpop crashed to 2.5 million in 2013.
Gagas never recovered. She hasnt sold more than a million albums in her two following releases.
Even getting the insanely valuable free advertising of performing the Super Bowl in 2017 wasnt enough to push Joanna sales through the million-album ceiling.
Mother monster (as shes called by the fans that dont actually buy her music) is just too weird. And her music is just too plain, unoriginal, and boring.
Why Is Everyone Getting Worked Up About Stupid Love & All The Lovers?
Everyones going gaga over Stupid Love, but nobodys actually going to buy the album. | Source: Lukas Maverick Greyson/Shutterstock.com
Lady Gagas latest offering will be her first solo album in four years. The hashtag #LadyGagaIsComing has been snowballing at a feverish rate of 2,000 new tweets an hour since Tuesday evening, after news broke that shes announcing new music and tour plans.
Apparently, some hackers forced Stefanis hand by leaking song titles and a demo of the single, Stupid Love ahead of schedule. They found the song title and audio buried on Lady Gagas official website.
A pop music fandom board reports:
Stupid Love features a pulsating synth beat and powerhouse vocals from Gaga that are reminiscent of something youd find on Born This Way.
Oh, great. More forgettable melodies sung in metallic, soulless auto-tuned perfection to a droning, mind-numbing disco beat. While monster-lady rips off the dance from Thriller.
And wears a Kermit the Frog dress, or clothes made out of actual raw steaks, or something from a nightmare. Or whatever Im-trying-so-hard-to-be-unique outfit she comes up with next.
There can be 100 people in a room
And 99 of them definitely wont buy Lady Gagas new album.
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect the views of CCN.com.
This article was edited by Josiah Wilmoth.
Last modified: January 29, 2020 9:42 PM UTC